This is an excerpt from the Journal of Hunter Cottoneye
I KNOW I'm not insane, even though folks around me think otherwise. I like to be prepared for the unknown. That's why I'm safely entrenched underground, armed with my rifle and plenty of supplies to keep me going until Domesday.
I KNOW there's something fishy going on around here. And here's the god-darned evidence too.
I keep a log on the folks around here, you know, check on their whereabouts, what they're doing where they're going. How many carrier bags of shopping they bring home, who is having an affair with whom. It's what keeps me going through those long hours alone. Not that I'm complaining ya know. I like my own company. I just like to watch people too.
It's then that I noticed a shift in the pattern of Riverview life.
In the shape of a young couple. A rather attractive blonde female and a striking, nerdy guy. They moved into the house across from the Brokes. Bad lot that family is ..... breed like rabbits and are no good layabouts, the lot of them.
Anyways, I was observing this young couple closely, when the guy .... Ambrose ... stupid name really, his mother must have REALLY loved him, invited me indoors.
Well, you know how uncomfortable I am around folks, I was surprised how 'at ease' I felt around these two. Yeah, you could see the sappy romance between them. The idealistic shine they still had. Yeah, that'll tarnish soon enough once they've spent enough time with one another.
They told me they had plans to get married, get jobs etc. So, with great reluctance, I found myself having long conversations over the phone with them. Having, well, I wouldn't say 'lovely' meals - she can't cook to save her life - some palatable and not so palatable dinners with them. The guy even invited me to his bachelor party.
So, we come to my proof that something's amiss.
They went on their honeymoon in Champs Le Sims. Sent postcards, called home daily. Announced that they were coming home the next day.
Then....
... nothing.
It's as if they've vanished without a trace!!! I called the hotel they were staying at, only to be told that they DID sign out and they DID get into the airport minibus. At the airport, when I called, they couldn't trace them at all. In fact, the staff there irritated the spit out of me, when they started giving me the runaround.
I'm not stupid. These kids went on honeymoon. They then vanished without a trace.
I'm telling you, there's something fishy going on.
And I'm going to get to the bottom of this, even if it kills me.
Signing out
Hunter Cottoneye
Showing posts with label bachelor party. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bachelor party. Show all posts
Monday, 22 August 2011
Sunday, 10 July 2011
Ambrose's Bachelor Party
Ambrose and Ginny set the wedding date. So that meant one last fling before the two of them tied the knot. Ginny didn't really want a bachelorette party, saying that
1) she didn't know that many people
2) she didn't really have a wish for one.
That left Ambrose. He didn't have many friends but he so desperately wanted to throw an awesome bachelor party. So he decided to risk everything and invite some of his work colleagues and a few folks he'd passed on the streets and said hello to. To his surprise, most of them accepted, all keen to let their hair down and have a wild night.
There was only one little teeny tiny problem that he needed to sort out.
Ginny.
Because the two of them live under the same roof, there was no way she could be at home when this party went into full swing, firstly because it was an 'all guys' bash. And secondly, because his guests might think she was one of the 'surprises' Ambrose's work colleagues had organised.
Thank goodness for the sweepstake Ambrose had joined in with at work. It came up trumps with a modest amount of winnings. Perfect timing, not only to give Ginny the wedding of her dreams. But also gave Ambrose the perfect opportunity to book Ginny into the Spa for a whole day's luxury treatments, whilst he continued to organise what he needed for the upcoming party.
He wanted to install a hot tub and the one he picked was top of the range. It was a little bit pricey to buy outright, so Brosie hired one for the evening, hoping to have a little 'fun' in it later on. Little did he realise just HOW much 'fun' was being had in that hot tub, whilst he was indoors throwing what he'd regard later on as the wildest party of his life.......
He hired the juice bar too and threw open the doors to let his guests in. Thing went really well, with guys dancing and pillow fighting. The juice flowed freely, the music was cranked up.
Then the doorbell rang, and a rather scantily clad woman arrived along with a stereo that she promptly switched on, and gave Ambrose one heck of a show. She stayed a little longer, and as the evening moved along, so did the hi jinks.
Caught up in the moment, Ambrose grabbed the bottle of nectar and sprayed one of his guests.
Another one, someone he didn't recognise - a gatecrasher most likely - climbed up on the kitchen counter and started gyrating his hips.
And in all this fun and frivolity, he hadn't noticed that Ginny had snuck back home. Where she and a certain George Dean, were getting really 'cozy' in that hired hot tub.....
10.5 hours later, (at approximately 6:30am the next day) the party ground to a halt with guests leaving, telling him he'd had an 'epic party' that would be remembered for a lifetime. He'd even managed to gain that much notoriety that he'd gained a celebrity star rating. Not that it mattered to Ambrose. Nope. He'd gotten that drunk that he didn't get to the bathroom in time. Peed himself. Then passed out cold on the floor.
Thank goodness the guests had left by then, and Ginny had retired to bed.
1) she didn't know that many people
2) she didn't really have a wish for one.
That left Ambrose. He didn't have many friends but he so desperately wanted to throw an awesome bachelor party. So he decided to risk everything and invite some of his work colleagues and a few folks he'd passed on the streets and said hello to. To his surprise, most of them accepted, all keen to let their hair down and have a wild night.
There was only one little teeny tiny problem that he needed to sort out.
Ginny.
Because the two of them live under the same roof, there was no way she could be at home when this party went into full swing, firstly because it was an 'all guys' bash. And secondly, because his guests might think she was one of the 'surprises' Ambrose's work colleagues had organised.
Thank goodness for the sweepstake Ambrose had joined in with at work. It came up trumps with a modest amount of winnings. Perfect timing, not only to give Ginny the wedding of her dreams. But also gave Ambrose the perfect opportunity to book Ginny into the Spa for a whole day's luxury treatments, whilst he continued to organise what he needed for the upcoming party.
He wanted to install a hot tub and the one he picked was top of the range. It was a little bit pricey to buy outright, so Brosie hired one for the evening, hoping to have a little 'fun' in it later on. Little did he realise just HOW much 'fun' was being had in that hot tub, whilst he was indoors throwing what he'd regard later on as the wildest party of his life.......
He hired the juice bar too and threw open the doors to let his guests in. Thing went really well, with guys dancing and pillow fighting. The juice flowed freely, the music was cranked up.
Then the doorbell rang, and a rather scantily clad woman arrived along with a stereo that she promptly switched on, and gave Ambrose one heck of a show. She stayed a little longer, and as the evening moved along, so did the hi jinks.
Caught up in the moment, Ambrose grabbed the bottle of nectar and sprayed one of his guests.
Another one, someone he didn't recognise - a gatecrasher most likely - climbed up on the kitchen counter and started gyrating his hips.
And in all this fun and frivolity, he hadn't noticed that Ginny had snuck back home. Where she and a certain George Dean, were getting really 'cozy' in that hired hot tub.....
10.5 hours later, (at approximately 6:30am the next day) the party ground to a halt with guests leaving, telling him he'd had an 'epic party' that would be remembered for a lifetime. He'd even managed to gain that much notoriety that he'd gained a celebrity star rating. Not that it mattered to Ambrose. Nope. He'd gotten that drunk that he didn't get to the bathroom in time. Peed himself. Then passed out cold on the floor.
Thank goodness the guests had left by then, and Ginny had retired to bed.
Saturday, 9 July 2011
Ginny Finds a Job
With all the old appliances breaking down on a regular basis, and money being very tight, Ginny decided to get a job. In the education career.
She'd been looking forward to going to work, and got up early to cook breakfast and tidy up a little. Unfortunately, things didn't go quite as planned, and yet again, the sink in the kitchen had sprung a leak overnight and had flooded the entire kitchen area. And it was seeping into the living room too. She helped as much as she could, but time was getting short, and she didn't want to turn up late on her first day.
"I'll finish up," Ambrose offered, grabbing the mop, "you get going, oh and good luck!"
"Thanks sweetie," she replied blowing him a kiss, "I'm sorry about the mess."
"Don't worry about it, it happens. Now run along and have a great day."
She stifled a giggle as she walked out the front door. That was so typical of Ambrose, making light of bad situations. She felt very lucky to have found him.
Her first day at work began quite well. She met a few folks and was handed her very first task. She had to go home and read a book before her next shift, which was the very next day. Determined to please everyone, she parked her bum on the bench just outside the school and pored through the fairly thin volume.
After all, if they were going to get married, they'll need extra cash for all the 'trimmings'. And if this meant a boost up the ladder and a nice little bonus, she was all for it.
When she finally got home, she was greeted by Ambrose, wielding a rather bulky pillow and looking mighty 'threatening'. Grabbing yet another one, they decided to pound the heck out of each other until they were completely exhausted.
She'd been looking forward to going to work, and got up early to cook breakfast and tidy up a little. Unfortunately, things didn't go quite as planned, and yet again, the sink in the kitchen had sprung a leak overnight and had flooded the entire kitchen area. And it was seeping into the living room too. She helped as much as she could, but time was getting short, and she didn't want to turn up late on her first day.
"I'll finish up," Ambrose offered, grabbing the mop, "you get going, oh and good luck!"
"Thanks sweetie," she replied blowing him a kiss, "I'm sorry about the mess."
"Don't worry about it, it happens. Now run along and have a great day."
She stifled a giggle as she walked out the front door. That was so typical of Ambrose, making light of bad situations. She felt very lucky to have found him.
Her first day at work began quite well. She met a few folks and was handed her very first task. She had to go home and read a book before her next shift, which was the very next day. Determined to please everyone, she parked her bum on the bench just outside the school and pored through the fairly thin volume.
After all, if they were going to get married, they'll need extra cash for all the 'trimmings'. And if this meant a boost up the ladder and a nice little bonus, she was all for it.
When she finally got home, she was greeted by Ambrose, wielding a rather bulky pillow and looking mighty 'threatening'. Grabbing yet another one, they decided to pound the heck out of each other until they were completely exhausted.
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